Last week I curled up in bed with my son and sobbed. It felt like everything was falling apart around me and I couldn’t understand why. Then I realized:

No one wants to talk about their problems. It’s never a good time or it’s too difficult.

I’m guilty of this too.

What people don’t understand is that the issues that we have with each other is what makes each relationship different and important to who we are. Whether it is someone you love or someone you despise, your connection to that person helps to build and define your personality and actions going forward.

I, by no means, am a relationship expert. I suck at relationships! I’ve known this from a very young age but it really hit home this week when I was verbally accosted by my mother-in-law who said that I am a manipulative person, that she knew from the moment she saw me that I wasn’t going to like her, and that my husband wouldn’t love me in the future.

I was nearly inconsolable after this encounter but things started to change when I considered that this was just one person’s opinion of me and, honestly, what did I care? I am who I am. If someone doesn’t like it then they can fork off. I wasn’t going to let this affect my marriage or my self confidence. I had so many other things to worry about, including keeping up with a newborn, that I couldn’t afford to let this phase me.

I’d come across this outlook on life before but I had never embraced it. I’d always sat around worrying about other people and their view of me. I was constantly worried about whether or not I was living up to how my parents thought I should act toward people. I wasn’t living up to the person I inherently was and that bothered me. If people couldn’t love me for me then maybe I needed to find new people.

This isn’t an article about a miraculous change in attitude (though I wish it were). It’s about learning who you want to be and not letting anyone stop you. I’m still a shy, introverted woman who nearly has a panic attack at even the thought of confrontation – but I’m on a mission to change that. Some say people can’t change but I don’t believe that. Everything is a mindset and with patience and practice anything is possible.

You could die tomorrow and you have to ask yourself, is this the life I would have wanted to live?

Your answer might be different than mine but, no. This is not the life I would have wanted to live. I’m more than pleased with my husband and son but there are many things I wish I could change. I want to be able to stand up for myself and my family without dissolving into tears, to find a career that I love, and to travel. Most of all, I hope to one day be able to fearlessly approach life and its opportunities.

I’m not here to tell you that if you bluntly tell people how you feel, life will get better. I can’t say that you’ll be happier if you stop talking to that sibling who has been booty butt cheeks over the years. There is no all-encompassing solution but maybe, just maybe, by changing one thing in your life you will start to see a small difference. It is all about trial and error and learning from our mistakes.

The moral of all my ranting is that, these are the things that lead to both our massive changes in attitude as well as our minuscule ones. We are who we are because of the people we surround ourselves with. So, when we have that moment of ‘fork this’, it can often feel like you’re the bad guy.

YOU’RE NOT!

Cut those toxic people from your life, tell them that you don’t give a darn what they think. If they try to cut you down, don’t let them. You are you and that is beautiful. You have every right to decide who you want in your life and who you don’t. One of the most important things I like to tell people is that just because someone is blood, doesn’t mean they have to be a part of your life. Another thing to remember is that you don’t owe someone anything for bringing you into the world – especially if they have no respect for you. This is your life, live the best one you can and remember that relationships are not perfect.

It has been a tough week but don’t worry, I’m doing just fine.

❤

S.S.S.